Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize