We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize