i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we made out on top of his cat.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
