I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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