North Korea, Best Korea!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize