Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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