I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
