"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
