His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
