Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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