:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
