so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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