No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
