Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize