Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
