wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
