You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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