what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
