Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
