Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize