Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
