Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
