I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
