He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
