I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
