my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
