your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
