I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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