people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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