so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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