i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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