apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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