it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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