I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
