like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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