Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize