3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
