i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
