Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
