She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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