Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
