he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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