TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize