It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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