Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
