We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
