All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
