even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i think my cat just said my name.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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