Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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