It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
