she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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