nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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