So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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