u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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