dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His hands were made for my vagina.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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