I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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