Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
