i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
